Size: 4x6

my life is a series of awkward moments separated by snacks

fine. i won't give up. but i will cuss the entire time

fool me once, shame on you fool me twice shame on me fool me three times you're good at this and i respect that

if you need anything from me reconsider

i'm awake please respect my privacy at this difficult time

pets are god's apology for your relatives

unicorn float floatie